Installment 23

Installment 23
So, that is done. Just washed my underwear…by hand. Maytag and Whirlpool refuse to do underwear. I’ve been thinking about that……what if your washer and dryer at home refused to do underwear? What if they just giggled and said no, no, no. Think about that for a minute….you’d have to do your own by hand. See what I mean. That’s the kind of extreme hardship I have to endure to be obedient to my God. Luckily, Sandy sent 7 pair…well, 7 singles….why do they call them pair? I have figured out that if I change every day, like a civilized person, I get 7 days wash free. But if I get 2 days per change, now I get 14 days. Now, taking the next logical step,,, if I get 2 days and then turn them inside out and get 2 more days….let’s see…that makes 28 days even for somebody from Anacortes. With a little creativity like…I went to bed early and got up late, so it really isn’t 1 whole day….that gets me to tonight….34 days in…seemed time to ‘man up’ and do some women’s work. Either that or…..hmmm, we go thru about 200 diapers a day….maybe a couple a day wouldn’t be missed….hmmm.
Today Dale made the mistake of wandering out into the veranda at breakfast time. He told me later that he had just thought that my blogs were a series of exaggerations….that is after I exhumed his almost lifeless body from under the squirming mass of what Dale had called up to that point, “sweet lovable children”. After clearing his airway of layers of snot, I was more than relieved to see that he began breathing on his own….honestly, I can’t see how Karolyn (wife) can put her lips on that man….doesn’t appeal to me at all. Anyway, after his recovery, he went straight to his computer to re-read my blogs, mumbling something about needing all the information he could get for self preservation. I was content just knowing that now I know of at least 4 people that read my blog…me, Sandy, Dale, and my psychiatrist…
After that near death experience, I suggested that we might go back out into the shamba (field) and finish the topographical work. “Good idea” he replies, “only mamba snakes out there,,,, and so, Dale is beginning to catch on where the danger really is…. After a couple of hours, we finished our field work…or I guess it would be called shamba work here. Dale said it really made him tired watching me traverse back and forth over twenty acres. I apologized and ventured that maybe next time he shouldn’t watch as I wander aimlessly in the wilderness. “that might help…watching people sweat that much is hard for me” he says. All this time, Jeff was sitting in the shade of the tool shed acting like he was working on some high chairs…would have fooled Dale too, but I explained Jeff’s modus operandus…always look busy, but never in the sun. About noon, Dale began compiling the data and getting it ready to print a map. After taking 4-500 readings, we now know that there are 4-500 places that I have stood on the property…and that there is an 8 meter drop in the elevation…and where every building, large tree, and fence line lays. Dale even plotted where the water, electrical and sewer…yes, I said sewer, lines are buried. It might not mean much to you, but for builders and property managers, this map will make it so much easier….and we can now develop a plan to handle the run-off water….have I mentioned that it rains here? Dale might be naïve about children, but he sure knows his topo stuff. Now that he is about finished with what he came for, I guess I should give him his passport back….it’s kind of a game we play here…keep their passport so they can’t leave until they finish their work…..hey, wait…Jeff has mine.
Hey, if any of you see my best friend, how about sending her to me….I mean, even prisoners get to have visitors.